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March 31st, 2008
09:27 pm - I moved!
So yeah, haven't touched this in over a year. The Dom and I moved toward a more traditional relationship (with still some kinky stuff in the bedroom). We broke up in November of 2007.
But I have another blog now: http://philosophicalslut.blogspot.com/
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November 17th, 2006
11:27 am - Silence
Hard to believe I went over 2 weeks without updating...
Then again, we didn't had much happening in that time frame sex wise. It's like... it's like real life obligations took over the hotness of our sex life.
Well, we did had a quickie at work 2 days ago. During our 15 minutes break. I find myself squirming each time I'm going to that restroom since, memories of good time spent together.
I hate my schedule for killing any attempt at social and sexual life thought. And I hate myself for writing such a shitty post after being silent for 2 weeks.
Then again... TOPICS PLEASE!
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November 1st, 2006
11:09 pm - Spooky witches...
So I was dressed up as a with for Halloween.
A fading reminder of my goth days I guess in a way. Which triggered some questionning with me about fetishes.
I used to date some guys who had very specific fetishes. But with Him... half the time I have no clue what turns him on.
At first He claimed He liked to see my ass all red. Then, time goes by and less and less spankings. I actually feel sad because of that. :)
Then, I sense He's high on public sex...and time goes by and less and less of that happens... (then again i bitch all the time when it does...
After anal sex... We had it, then we don't...
I dunno if it's His way to always keep me on my toes or something.
Then again, I know He loves cumming in my mouth and this didn't fade out much. :)
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October 29th, 2006
10:39 am - pain for pleasure
It was a dream, oh what a dream...
I'm sometimes surprised at the intensity of my dreams, when it comes to BDSM. It's not necessarly stuff I ever did, or ever thought about doing, or even stuff that I might want. Sometimes, my desires have a mind of their own, and they would just... invade my dreams with their ideas.
So in that dream, I found myself tied to the bed, not laying on my back, but rather in a doggy-style-ish position. It's hard enough to remember that dream precisely, so please bear with me if I'm not descriptive enough.
So I was basically forced to have my ass & pussy all exposed, the ass up in the air, my head on the matress, feeling very very...submissive & vulnerable. It was a bit funny cause I distincly remember being soaking wet to be in that position in my dream (or maybe it was the hour of intense masturbation prior falling asleep that created that sensation, we'll never know).
I felt something nice, like a finger slowly playing with my clit & my slit, making sure it get covered in my cunt juices, slowly going up and down from my pussy to my ass.
Then, it came. The cock raping my ass. I could feel it sliding slowly in my anus, while I was being gagged as to not scream from the pain. The hand holding a bunch of my air behind my head, to force said head down on the matress. I was being used. I was being fucked. I was being raped.
Then it started, the namecalling, the insults, the hard pounding. "Don't try to pretend you're not enjoying it, slut, I can feel your cunt soaking my balls with your dirty slut juices." etc etc.
Truth is I was enjoying it a lot in that dream. Truth is... I would enjoy that a lot in real life too...
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October 27th, 2006
12:53 am - Control?
Yesterday proved to me I was in the middle of ovulating: after almost 4h30 hours of sex I was totally willing for more, even if my cunt was raw and we were running late for the movies.
Today, I wanted to talk about control, and how much little I have over myself and how much I need a controlling man in my life :)
Tiny stuff, daily stuff, are there to remind me I'm being controlled. That "2 self orgasms a day" rules I never really disobey, that request for a daily kneeling period (I'm a wuss thought, I should do it more), the way the first thing i'm expected to do when He comes home is to kneel to take off His shoes.
It's funny, I said expected, but I didn't mention expected from who. I kinda expect it from myself too. I just don't simply love Him, I just adore and worship Him. I'm kinda mad at me when taking off His shoes is not the first thing I do when we come home.
Even thought it's not really a rule I was given by Him, I always make sure I'm very clean back there and ready for Him, regardless if He plans on fucking me, or fucking my ass. I also always have a glass in the freezer ready for Him if He wants something cold to drink.
I also let Him help me manage my money, cause I'm horrible at it and He has a good way to calculate what I need to do with it. Even if "managing my money" only means He takes a glance at my paycheck and tells me how much I get for my weekly "allowance" to spend as I wish, I feel appreciative of Him doing that.
When He talks, I listen. Passionately. There is something fucking arousing about the way He'll just tell me "on your knees, bitch" when I'm laying next to Him on the bed, playing or sucking His cock. There is something I love about being in my right place, kneeling before Him with His cock deep in my mouth. There is something I adore about Him calling me a cum hungry whore, a dirty little slut, Him smearing my cunt juices all over my face, Him slapping my face, Him cumming, shooting His thick hot load down my throat.
There is something I just adore about being used as His fucktoy, for His pleasure. I love when He controls me.
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October 24th, 2006
12:24 pm - Yikes
I skipped an update there, since I'm supposed to update this blog every 48 hours at least.
And I have no good excuse too (asides from being unusually tired lately) since I've been very horny lately: I should have a lot of good material to write about :)
I've been a bad sub lately, not that this is unusual or anything. I've been asked to kneel everyday for 20 minutes and I somehow find the way to "forget" to do it too. And fuck I'm just incredibly lazy lately, both on this aspect of my life and others.
We had quick sex on Sunday morning before work. It was a bit funny cause I was sleeping over at our friends' house and He came to pick me up before work. So yeah, I went to work my pussy still wet and my thighs sticky from my juices. I don't think I've done that in ages: going to work right after sex, still sticky from it. It was very hot on plenty of aspects, and I still wonder how I managed not to squeeze another quickie DURING work cause I was very horny that day. :)
He pulled my hair very hard during that fucking, using it to bring my body closer during doggy style fucking. I love being pounded from behind by His thick cock while He pulls my hair like a while a cheap whore... I love being used for His pleasure.
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October 20th, 2006
11:14 am - So loud...
Sex was amazing yesterday. Even more so cause we had a very silly romantic moment in between fucking sessions yesterday. But that's not on what I wanna focus in this post.
That cock, entering me, perfect angle. Do you know how good it feels? I have the impression someone made a mold out of my cunt to create that cock so it would just rub me in all the right place when it fucks me. I came a lot, but I remember mostly these 2 orgasms from yesterday:
One, funnily enough, was simply induced by straight, missionnary style fucking. Intense fucking, off course, but even then, nothing out of the ordinary :) The way all my muscles tensed up when I came, and for once I was totally silent (i'm a loud bitch in bed lol). It was... very very special.
The second one was when I was riding him after our nice nap. :) That's when I realized how good and perfect His cock felt inside me. Just, slowly fucking, cowgirl-style. And how I love to suck Him after, His cock and balls covered in my juices with the taste of His cum quickly filling my mouth.
Oh I lied, there is a 3rd one I'll definitely remember: when He was sitting on my face while I was licking His ass and He was fisting me. I squirted a lot during that moment. I was so insanely wet He smeared my whole face in my juices from His hand and called me a dirty little slut.
My sex life is nothing short of amazing :)
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October 17th, 2006
12:58 am - Late?
Almost got late at work today, this silly slut.
Why? Cause she got insanely horny 30 minutes before having to catch the bus.
The kind of insane horniness that requires to get all naked (she was fully dressed for work), jump on the bed, put a condom on a vibe, add some lube, play with the Pokcet Rocket on her clit for a few minutes to get the heat up, slide the vibe into her all, masturbate digitally her clit while slowly going up and down to feel the vibe in her ass moving a little...
I cheat btw, there is no batteries in the vibe, so thats why im laying on my back moving up and down to fuck my ass with it while going crazy with the clit.
and you know what gave me a mind blowing orgasm? I was hyper loud so I was happy my roommate wasn't home. I was shaking for a good 10 minutes after too.
Picture Him fucking my ass like that, while I go crazy with my clit. Imagining him calling me a slut, a whore, une chienne, une saloppe... that's how i came, with His words, in my head.
I'd give my whole world to kneel at His feet every night begging Him to fuck me good like that.
I miss His touch, I miss His words, I miss Him...
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October 14th, 2006
11:33 am - Words...
Kaya wrote something beautiful recently:
"His voice. How to describe the way His voice affects me. I don't know if it's the fact that we spend so much time on the phone or what it is, but I fall into His voice. The tone, the lilt, the inflection. I know His mood within one syllable. I know a hidden meaning behind an innocent word as soon as it's spoken. I can be dropped to the floor, mentally and physically or have my spirits soaring with only His voice."
I actually always was mesmerized by His voice myself. In fact, if i remember correctly, one of the first time we were together He made me cum while I was sucking Him off simply by describing a very hot situation... that's hot hot His voice makes me. :)
And it's funny, cause we now get to talk, face to face, daily. About totally non-sex related stuff since we are at work. But his voice still makes me shivers all over again. That's why I hate it so much when He bitches about silly stuff at work like the schedule, an annoying customer, etc... He dilutes that power He has over me by doing that.
Yes, I'm totally using this blog today to pass a small critique to Him. Funny thing is I didn't realize this stuff before I start writing...
On another note, I find myself today in the need of a good hard fuck and I'm kinda... indisposed for a few days. I wonder what silly joke it was to make my libido rise so much when I'm in no state to get said wanted good hard fucking. Irony is a bitch.
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October 13th, 2006
12:41 am - Silence
I got reminded today that I left that journal alone for almost a long week. Totally unacceptable. I'm been a bad slut, and in a bad way too.
Well I'll have to rely on my fantasies, cause a conflicting schedule prevents my sex life from being as hot & wild & as often as I would like it to be for now...
It's funny cause half the time at work I'm very busy and working hard, but once in a while those very dirty thoughts will come up and I'll start to day dream a little. That's been happenning a lot lately since I happen to be working with Him now..
Oh and since irony is a bitch, I happen to be technically His superior too (A). Anyway long story short, I had this flash of a fantasy two days ago. I was standing naked, slightly bending forward, in a public bathroom with my hands ducttaped together and my panties in my mouth, my ass very red and sore from a good spanking. It was an hot thought, random in the middle of the day. :)
And back in the real world, on Monday He bit me. Very hard. On the shoulder. I cried. I cried and I was very afraid cause I didnt understood why He did that at first.
Now I know.
It still hurts, my love. And each time i think of You.
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October 6th, 2006
01:15 pm - Petite salope...
His cock... His beautiful large cock... I see it and I just need to have it in my mouth. My mouth was made to suck that cock endlessly.
I think of His cock and I get wet, I get a deep feeling of emptiness in each and every of my holes too. I need it in my mouth, I want it in my cunt, I beg for it deep in my ass.
It puts me in my place when He slaps me when I'm arrogant. I feel like a naughty child being discipline. Heck, I AM a naughty child in need of discipline.
As degrading and humiliating are the ideas He likes to put in my head, I'm starting to crave them. I also am in need of His control, His dominance over me. I want to be all His, to be a mere doll He can shape in any form He wants, He can make me do whatever He wanna make me do.
I close my eyes and all I can think of today is to kneel before Him while sucking His cock. I think I'm slowly getting to the place I need to be.
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October 3rd, 2006
10:11 pm - Dirty Mind
It will be hard to ever top my last post: it was intense.
He wants me to also write my dirty thoughts. Fact is I can't be next to the computer each time I have one: I have many naughty thoughts in the course of a single day.
But I guess His point is that He wants to know what's going on in these fantasies of mine... Well I'll gladly share some of my fantasies here tonight.
I wish we were in a living situation where I would be required to be available 24/7 for His pleasure; requiring me to be also wet and ready to have any and each of my holes fucked by Him, in any way, position and pace He'd see fit.
The way He gagged me last time made me realize I would just love to be tied up, at His mercy, so He could just do anything He wants with me without me being able to move out of the way in case it's something I normally wouldn't accept. The mere idea of being tied to the bedpost while being fucked is making me insanely wet.
I love when I'm kneeling before Him, i like feeling His dominance over me, both psychologically and physically. I insanely love when He slaps me when I'm in that position. I love when He acts like I'm all His... cause really, I am.
I love when He makes me feel like a slut in public... perhaps one day He'll make me walk around in public wearing very revealing clothing and no underwear...
And I just enjoy the name calling a lot in bed... May be one day He'll just slap me while fucking me and calling me a whore at the same time...
One girl can wish, can't she?
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October 1st, 2006
10:36 pm - Good times
I like how he took off my black g-string I bought earlier that day. I put it on like barely an hour before he came over. I was with someone else yesterday. I knew He wanted to fuck me until i forget i ever was with anyone but Him tonight.
So as I said, He took off my black g-string. He was holding it and He noticed how wet they were. « Are you already that wet for me? » He asked. I answered back by asking him what He was doing. « Your roommate is next door, we have to gag you so you don't get too loud, don't we? » before He made me lick the wetness. Like an hungry little whore, I complied. He then put them in my mouth and tied them on the back of my head. « Look at me.... beautiful » He said, when I looked at him from my place, on all fours on the bed, while he was standing up next to it.
My ass was kinda already up into the air, He simply shifted me in a position with a better access to it for Him. He immediately started to finger/fist my cunt, my already dripping cunt. Slowly, I understood He didn't care much about pleasuring me at that point, He started rubbing some of my wetness on my asshole. He quickly stuck a finger in it, making me cringe. God I hate having a finger back there.
Seeing as I wasn't ready enough, He fucked my cunt for a few seconds to lube up His cock. He bend over to eat & lick my ass, making it more ready for His cock. Then He pushed. He placed the head of His big hard cock against my ass and He pushed.
At this point I doubted the gag was for my roommate's sake; it was clear He wanted to rape my ass without me tearing His eardrums with my screams. Once He finally was buried real deep in my ass, he asked me by whispering in my ear if it was hurting. I nodded. He asked if I wanted him to withdrawl. I energically said no by rapidely turning my head left & right rapidly. He started pumping.
I never felt anything so raw, so bare, so big in my ass before. The more it was painful, and believe me it was, the more I could feel my cunt just soaking up and my juices sliding down my thighs. « You like when I fuck your ass, slut? You like when I make you my bitch? » He was grunting while His cock was indeed making a bitch out of my ass.
The pain, the sweet pleasure of pain. The intensity of the fucking. A good, hard fucking, like I needed from Him. My ass still hurts when I think of it. His nails digging my back, my hips, His cock going deeper and deeper. The way He stand stills and stopped moving when He came, the way my ass was so sore I couldn't really move after...
We chatted for a while, I was laying on my stomach to avoid feeling His cum leak out of me. He told me to be careful, He wanted me to keep it as long as possible. Later on He forbidded me to clean up: He wanted me to feel His cum in my ass all evening and all night. He made me put my gstring back on, we got dressed and we went out for coffee.
« I feel like such a slut » I confessed. « That's the right state of mind you should be in » He said.
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September 22nd, 2006
06:13 pm - Sick leave
Ive been feeling a little under the weather lately. Even if my mandate is to update this blog every 48 hours, I'll have to take a few entries off to get back into shape.
Even when I'm sick thought, I do have those "horny periods" where I just wanna be fucked, and fucked good. Which is a bit ironic cause there is no energy in my body right now at all.
It got me thinking: I'm a very sensual person. Making me cum is not a HUGE challenge cause I can cum just by sucking on the right cock. ;) Its funny cause sometimes I cum just by touching my aroused and perky nipples through my bra.
This hypersensuality makes for some remarkable feelings; i often feel like im about to faint when im too horny. Like right now, i cant stop thinking about the first time i had anal sex with Him; His throbbing and boiling cock pushing against my thight asshole, my cheek pressed against the cold steel metal of my footboard, the feverish feeling of my own body after such amazing sex, the anticipation of having my ass fucked good by Him... the cold, the heat, all mixed together...
see? my head is spinning right now and im not sure its the fever i have cause im sick....
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September 18th, 2006
11:12 am - Better sub?
How to be a better sub, I often wonder?
Do I just sit there, lower my head and be pretty? Do I simply jump to follow each and every of His orders, no question asked? Do I try to do a little mind reading and try to foresee His desires? Do I simply tie myself up to the bed when He's about to come over and let Him use me any way He sees fit? Do I simply act like I don't have any wants and desires of my own and that my only goal is to please Him?
It's hard to be a sub sometimes, especially when you're not sure how to go about it and when you've been relatively having a dominant personnality all your life.
I kinda know about some stuff I'm doing wrong thought... I guess it's a good beginning to work on those areas to fix it.
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September 15th, 2006
09:55 am - Swallowing
It's funny sometimes how you can go from one extreme to another. I used to not be a swallower at all. In fact, I'd much prefer when guys had a cumshot fetish cause they could cum all over my face or my breasts so I didn't had to have their cum in my mouth.
That's not even an option with Him. I remember this one time when I was blowing Him in a public bathroom, for some reasons there were a lot of the stuff and it tasted very bad that day, so before I could even think I turned around and spat it up in the toilet. I still remember the look of disapproval He gave me. "Always carry a bottle of water with you, cause this is never happening again. I don't care how it tastes or how much there is, you are to swallow".
I'd say I usually love to swallow him. It started as "not really looking forward to it", went to "not minding that much" and somehow ended up now at "if i don't get to swallow, i feel there is something missing".
Now, I just spaced out thinking of Him rock hard in my mouth. :)
Yesterday, I got to swallow Him three time. It was especially good too. Heck I think I could have just sucked Him off all evening and swallow non stop.
I just love having Him in my mouth, feeling Him on my tongue, almost down my throat, rock hard, balls well full about to shot. Just thinking of it makes me shivers of pleasure. And the excitement of the end, when I sense (or He plainly tells me) that He's about to cum, the way my cunt feels, the way I often cum at the same time too while He's in my mouth like that....
good memories.
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September 12th, 2006
08:54 pm - Hotness
I guess I will be rambling for a little while in this post once again. I don't mind all that much having to update this journal every 48 hours, but often I have no inspiration.
And it's a shame cause I usually spend my days with soaked panties having very dirty thoughts.
Like today I was thinking how hot it was to ride Him on Sunday when he was doing the name calling in french for a change. Hum, just mentionning it again get me all worked up. :)
And I remember focusing a lot yesterday on how awesome it was that shortly after that I slided off the bed cause I was in shock of having cum so hard I just couldn't control my body anymore. And when I was kneeling to try and get my spirits back together, he slided behind me and fucked me that way, on all fours on the floor like the bitch in heat i probably am.
Sex with Him is beyond hot. Did I mention He just let himself a little more loose than usual and slapped the hell out of my face? I wish someone was fucking my cunt when I was on all fours on the bed sucking His beautiful cock while he was slapping my face and calling me a cheap whore who loves the cock. I just couldn't stop smiling, I loved it too much. :)
So yeah, I spent the last 2 days replaying those scenes over and over in my head. Now if you excuse me, I need to go and change panties again, for some reason.
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September 10th, 2006
08:12 am - Why am I such a tease? (and other pondering)
Why do I tease so much and deny evilly like that? Cause the moment the guy lose control and takes me while I firmly forbid him to do so is when MY fun really starts.
I just don't think I could ever enjoy slow, romantic sex the same way I do hardcore and violent style fucking. It's a bit sad when you think about it.
I would much rather be thrown on the bed, be ripped out of my clothing, have my head pushed in the pillows to cover my screams and be fucked in the ass without any ceremony, than to have a (gag) session of missionary style sex, slow and all passionate...
Just to think of the latter, I have a look of disgust on my face. And it's not normal, I'm painfully aware of it.
So yes, I'm an evil tease, yes I almost made him reach a point where He could have grabbed me by the hair and forced me to go to a public bathroom so He could use me any way he saw fit when I was totally denying Him to even think about using that option, slowly making Him mad and driving Him crazy.
The thing is I'm perfectly aware I have a safeword and I know how to use it. :)
(My Edit: That's not what a safeword is for slut.)
And yeah, sometimes I'm not in the mood for sex. Then again, the idea of being raped turns me on to no end. So it's a win-win solution :)
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September 8th, 2006
10:00 am - Normal?
What is normal sexually?
Lately I've become a bit self conscious about "normal" sexual pratices since I discovered that I'm more and more attracted to some hardcore stuff.
It's a bit scary when you look at some stuff and your first reaction is "Ewwww!", then over the weeks it becomes "hum..." to finally evolve in a "well, it might be fun...".
Then again, I thought the same about anal sex before I got to experiment with it. And let's be frank, I'm an anal sex slut now :)
And lately, I actually now take pleasure in giving myself enemas. I like the superb clean feeling it gives me, and it eases (bare) anal sex a lot. He did told me once that I should make sure all my (His) holes are ready for use at any time he sees fit, so I do comply when we are scheduled to meet. :)
Which got me thinking that I need to learn to describe stuff better. Cause anal sex with Him... it's just not your regular anal sex adventure.
I was dating a guy once who loved anal sex probably as much as me, and we probably did it every other day. I just like the feeling of being on all fours, my head lowered, while my ass is being fucked and my cunt just squirt of pleasure (i wasn't a squirter back then, but I just got insanely wet) while I moan loudly. Cause I'm a very loud moaner :)
There is something awfully sexy about the way He uses me & my holes. I just enjoy standing there while He takes his pleasure from me, sometimes denying me to have any....
Yes, there is nothing i enjoy more than being His.
(This post was erratic at best, I need to focus on an idea and not to let my thoughts wander away like that.)
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September 5th, 2006
11:59 pm - His toy.
i'm His toy, that's for sure. and He made it especially clear today
So hum... yeah, He totally used me today :)
I had a skirt and a low cut shirt and I was laying on the bed on my stomach and He was over me, kissing me and carressing me all over. then He flipped up my skirt, i had black lace panties on, and He started to tease my ass/pussy with His cock, while bundling the panties in my crack :P like a gstring lol
wHen He noticed i was getting wet, He started to spank me. hard. i swear my ass is still glowing :)
He teased my asshole some more with His cock, then when i was a bit more on all 4 and squirming a lot, He said "dont move" He got off the bed and came in front of me. He grabbed me by the hair and shoved His cock in my mouth, fucking my face.
i was kinda moving to suck him properly, He exited my mouth and said "dont. move."
He had to repeat that a lot today :)
so He keep fucking my face, sometimes exiting me to make sure i would not reach for His cock as im used to do. He just wanted me as a toy to use today. after He got His cock well sucked, He was back behind me on the bed, and He kept teasing and spanking me.
I was soaking wet at that point and i started to beg him to fuck me. He really enjoyed having me almost crying out of pain from the spanking begging for His cock inside me.
He removed my panties, shoved them in my mouth, told me to stand still and He entered me, slowly. my pussy was burning at that point and my moans were muffled by my panties
He pumped me, i was fucking back. He exited me, slapped my ass and told me to stop moving.
most importantly, He told me i wasnt allowed to cum either. i wish i knew how to portrait how much i love being there, my head lowered, my panties in my mouth, my cunt sore and soaked, just being fucked, not allowed to move or talk, just being FUCKED ( i know im repeating myself), just being all His to enjoy.
He made me change position a little, i guess a bit more on my knees, my Head down, my panties well stuffed in my mouth, and He fucked me again. He had to stop a few time to correct the fact i was moving or to shove back the panties in my mouth. i was feeling my wetness slicking my thighs from all the pleasure from my cunt.
i did twiched when He put His finger in my ass twice. i hate when He does that :P but for once i didnt jumped out of bed calling him a bastard for that lol
eventually He allowed me to cum wHen He started pumping harder and faster, grabbing my hips, digging His nails into my hips, my shoulders my back. a gooood fucking. i came twice during that time.
He then decided His cock was lubbed enough and He exited my cunt, , lick my anus, slammed His dick against my asshole and just pushed. i could feel him tearing into me. anal sex is always painful with him cause Hes so large.
but fuck, i love it.
so i was crying out in pain but almost cumming of pleasure at the same time. He shoved the panties into my mouth again (kept falling off during my moanings) fucked the Hell out of my ass and shoved it real deep wHen He finally cummed. then He just laid atop of me while i was orgasming, shacking and almost crying.
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